oeuniverse:

In order to become the supreme adult, you must perform the seven wonders:

  • Public speaking
  • Not being afraid of teenagers
  • Calling the doctor yourself
  • Taxes
  • Arguing without crying
  • Having a normal sleep pattern
  • Having an answer to the question ‘what do you want to do with your life?’

(via thecutestnightmare)

me: no one ever texts me

*gets a text*

me: wtf do you want

floozys:

why is catcalling called catcalling? i like cats and i would quite like them calling me to see how i am or to make plans to meet for brunch, catcalling should be called something more accurate like asshole screeching or insecure masculinity 

(via afternoonsnoozebutton)

Plot Twist: My Anaconda Do

(Source: crrabs, via lemmecatertoyou)

silverrumrunner:

onlinewifey:

A coffee pot can be a coffee mug if you just don’t fucking care

image

(via afternoonsnoozebutton)

(Source: adrenaline-high, via fit-and-furious)

hawti:

Gym Instructor: So what’s your favourite machine to use here at the gym?

MeThe Vending Machine

(via fit-and-furious)

shaky:

I’m stuck between wanting:

1. A long lasting relationship with my soulmate who supports me and protects me and is my partner and we are completely bad ass together and in love

2. Wanting to have casual sex and rip out the heart of everyone person I meet

3. Being independent and having a loyal dog while I’m married to my career

(via fit-and-furious)

lcfoolie:

Look at this guy. IN CLASS.

I’ve obviously been doing something wrong. 

lcfoolie:

Look at this guy. IN CLASS.

I’ve obviously been doing something wrong. 

(Source: siisonabledoubt, via afternoonsnoozebutton)

ME TRYING TO TRAIN MYSELF TO FUNCTION ON WAY LESS SLEEP THAN IM USED TO

whatshouldwecallbeingamedstudent:

image